what's legs got to do with it?

As per usual: please click on this great MTV video, for your viewing enjoyment.





At some point in my early 20s - after college, pre-meeting Mr. Dot - I was basically living a Carrie-esque existence in NYC. I didn't write a column (I was a freelance graphic designer & art director - I even worked on the early MTV animations) but I had this really fun, creative, and occasionally, glamorous life. My college friend, Dani, had a boyfriend - now husband - who was five years older, and their extended family of friends were just sooo cool. And amongst these friends was a really tall, skinny guy named Ed.



Now Ed - bless him - we were great friends. But he wasn't my type. I had a lot of boyfriends, but not Ed. He'd always say 'why not me?' and I'd say things like 'because you smoke' and he'd stomp out the cigarette, throw the pack away, do all these gestures.. no matter how many excuses I'd come up with, he'd always have an answer. He kept bring up that time, on the boat, when we were leaning on each others' backs the whole ride and he kept saying 'don't deny it, you KNOW there's a connection.' Finally, in desperation, I needed a reason that he could not change, so I told him he was too tall. Fair enough, but he never did stop trying. And then when I'd meet one of their friends, and we'd start liking each other, they'd invariably say 'I can't do this to Ed!'



Too Tall Ed used to sing this song out loud, but his version was 'What's legs got to do, got to do with it? Who needs a leg, when a leg can be broken?'



Which reminds me of something I read recently. They did one of those surveys. I forget the percentage, but a lot of women - a majority vote - wish their legs were longer. Apparently we women own, on average, something like 56 pair of shoes (which means - since I have far less - that somewhere across town, there is a woman with 287 pair, to balance me out). And, also apparently, most of our shoes are very high heels, because we think it makes our legs look longer.





As someone who is average height, or even small - 5'4" - I'm often told I have 'great legs'. I don't even know what this means! I think I have maybe a short torso, so my legs are proportionately longer? No one ever says, for example, that I have a great waist - altho this year it's looking flatter than last. My bum is nothing to write home about, unless you like pancakes. And no one raves about my breasts, which are somewhere between an A and a B - maybe an A+ - and which, for some reason, I've always been rather proud of. They're inoffensive, not very 'in your face'. And, while we're on the subject of perfection: if you scrutinise the photos of these catwalk models - these perfect beings - you'll find some little imperfections here and there. Proof that they're actually, you know, human, after all.




Maybe the thing about legs are, they're a part of our physicality that it's tricky to change, cosmetically. You can't- far as I know - get a leg job. Perhaps you can. Who knows. All I know is, I've been doodling those classic Court shoes - like the Louboutins shown here, at the Holly Fulton show last Feb - (other shots are David Koma, with the polka dots, and the knits are Mark Fast) - since I was a girl. I love the IDEA of wearing heels. In practice, I'm running round most of the time in flip flops, flats, and Converse. Maybe that's the secret to great legs: keep them moving, cupcakes!




And come to think of it: Tina Turner, bless her cotton socks, isn't all that tall, and her legs aren't very long. But they're certainly fabulous!

Must run: things to do, then Vogue's Fashion Night Out tonight. I get overwhelmed figuring out which invites to prioritise, so I'm going to just meet Sabine and we'll do a quick brisk run around for a short time - dressed for speed, not style. It's just a matter of choosing which Converse: the vintage blue or the less old, i.e. seven year old, cream ones.

All photos by me, at the Holly Fulton (Louboutin heels), David Koma (polka dots) and Mark Fast (knits) catwalk shows. Somerset House, Day Four, London Fashion Week, 21 February, 2011.