30.10.12

the homes of the brave



I didn't do this photo - I wish I did - and while it's gone viral, I can't quite figure out who to credit for it. But all day and night and now, day again, I'm steeped in that image of a BBC reporter pointing to the mist in the sea and saying 'The Statue of Liberty is disappearing.'

But she didn't. She's still standing. And talking on the phone with my friends, in Brooklyn, Manhattan, New Jersey, Long Island.. the courage masked as humour.. and I keep playing this song in my head.

It has renewed meaning to me this morning: in the dawn's early light.

When I think of Katrina, the tsunamis that came without warning.. to think that this time, with such short notice, thanks to the calm authoritative voice of our President, and - by his example - Mayor Bloomberg, the governors of each state - all our elected leaders urging people to be responsible for themselves and also considerate of the 'first rescurers' safety, should they put themselves in harms way.. this is a disaster of biblical proportions, and yet the loss to human life is appearing small in proportion to other disasters. I can't think of a better example in the argument of Government vs The People, that it is the cooperation between the two, that matters most.

There's still a rough road ahead - and we will pitch in and help in any way we know how - but for now, I offer my thanks, at the courage, the dignity and grace, that I saw in my friends, and in people I don't know. People who have inspired me, if and when my time comes, to weather the next storm.

29.10.12

in the dawn's early light


As anyone who lives in a country not of their birth, when something happens back home.. okay, speaking for myself, I'm feeling a bit strange now that I'm not in NY. I'm loving the spirit of my friends, all the people I love, trying (and failing) to find DD batteries, going to dinner, making jokes, being brave, as one friend in Connecticut said: 'washing clothes now so at least my little pioneers will look presentable in the dark' to which another mother replied 'funny, I did the same thing.... clinging to what we can control, right?'

And here I sit: blithely going about my lovely weekend, not knowing until yesterday that Sandy was even that serious - not til the BBC, and Great Britain, decided it was news-worthy - and I'm wishing - sick as it sounds - that I were there. So instead, I call friends, and write on their facebook walls, and google Hurricane Sandy, and what should come up but the information that the Statue of Liberty - which I didn't know was closed for a year for repairs - had her debut opening yesterday, Sunday. For one day, Liberty received only a few guests - the Interior Secretary, and some U.S. Military cadets, and now she's closed again - with her thirty million dollar facelift - to stand tall, head held high, and bravely face the storm.

She is there: standing, beautiful and tall, watching over the city, a towering figurehead at the helm of the ship they call Manhattan, created to symbolise America's courage and strength, through the rockets' red glare.. a week before possibly the most divisive election in her history, it's taking Mother Nature to remind a nation that it's time to lay down their weapons, stand together, and weather the storm.

Sending prayers to all in Sandy's path: please be safe and warm.

19.10.12

off the road



Maybe it's because I was born out West, because I've always been drawn to the idea - and the aesthetic - of the open road.

Not the Wild West of black and white Westerns - that's for boys (although, that said, my husband recently practically forced me to sit down and watch a series of the early John Ford westerns with him, and the cinematography spoke to me: those landscapes, shot in and around Utah, where I spent the first year of my life, are so imprinted on my soul).

So I did get a slight frisson (okay, that's an oxymoron: frisson, pronounced "frēˈsôN", is defined as "a sudden strong feeling of excitement or fear; a thrill", but trust  me, this was only a slight frisson) when I heard they were making a film of Jack Kerouac's iconic novel, On the Road. The first thing that came to mind was an old song I knew from the 70s, from a band named Aztec Two Step that it seemed only a handful of friends - and my boyfriend - knew about. It took me forever to find you a version of the original song on YouTube, so I do hope someone out there plays it all the way through - if only to let me know if you like it half as much as I did - and still do. It's got an energy to it, a certain je ne sais quoi - a frisson.




But as a friend said recently, I, too, was greatly underwhelmed when I read the book in college. It was the late Seventies: all my friends' older brothers and sisters had already done everything there was to be done, and we were doing our best to hold our end of the team up - to be Bad - but come graduation, instead of living on communes and baking bread - another great Aztec Two Step song which I cannot find in its original version - my principled friends and peers were going for jobs on Wall Street, and soon after, it seems, the Reagan Thatcher years had kicked in, and it was all primary colours and red Armani suits with shoulder pads.

And Vivien Westwood, and the Sex Pistols, and in NY, the Mudd Club and CBGBs and Talking Heads and the Ramones.

You've probably heard the story behind the story of how On the Road finally became a film: how Francis Ford Coppola bought the rights in 1979 - right around the time I was playing the song and casting the cutest guys I knew - personally, or in the music world, because then, they were our Gods, not actors, or chefs - but watching the film last week was as much of a let down as reading the book.

And that made me so sad, because the footage - some of the scenery shots, especially - was gorgeous.



So what was the problem? I kept asking myself all through the film - it was easy enough to multi task, follow the plot while carrying on this internal conversation. Yes, the world has changed - yet again, as it always does - and we're at a stage, culturally, where because anything goes, it's hard to shock (a friend's daughter was going off to college and we were talking about what a good relationship she has with her - they can talk about anything - and I said 'well that's because there isn't anything she could do, really, that you guys haven't done' and she thought for a moment and said 'God, I hope not!). 

So there's that: it's hard to see that these people were living, thinking, being, in a way that was completely outside of what was normal to the times: to me, watching the film, they just looked like college students anywhere, perhaps poorer than the average median, playing at being bad. 

And I loved the idea that - after all these years and the long journey that the book has taken to finally be seen on the silver screen - that it went to the brilliant Brazilian director Walter Salles. Because Brazil is a place where the context of being 'counter culture' has more relevance. And he's a great director.

And STILL it didn't work.

So it comes down, for me, to the casting. The two Kristens - Stewart and Dunst - wonderful. Perfect. Sam Riley was good enough as Sal Paradise: that's the role of the Friend, which isn't easy to play in any film, but as long as you keep your mouth shut most of the time, and look either sad, outraged, pitying, or happy - depending on the mood of the moment - and don't draw too much attention to yourself, you'll do just fine. Especially if you can do Brood well, as Sam's nailed.

But the problem for me was Dean himself. 

I don't know who Garret Hedlund is, so no offence to him as a person, and I know he did his best, but all I kept thinking is, oh how I wish this was a young Brad Pitt - in his Thelma and Louise days. I just didn't believe that this guy would make the two Kristens so crazy: I was convinced that they were really pissed off at him for being a lyin' cheatin' bastard, but didn't get at all why they couldn't live without him. That power: that charm, charisma, animal magnetism.. just didn't get it. 

(Later - reading up on the history - it seems Coppola did try, many years ago, to do it with Ethan Hawk as Sal, and Brad Pitt as Dean Moriaty, and if only he did it then. Even later on, Billy Crudup and Colin Firth as Dean.. then, the colouring would match the original Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassady, the author's friend and the model for Moriaty. Apparently Kerouac originally wrote to Marlon Brando, asking HIM to play Dean in the film - and he wanted to play himself, as Sal, which I wish I could have seen: in the photos, Jack Kerouac, the writer, really looks like he'd make a great actor).


So I was watching the film, waiting for it to end, enjoying the ride because after all, my aesthetic, my photography, the way I dress, the fact that I'm obsessed with moving to California, my yearning for the open road, the self portraits I've taken all these years and take, still (altho the top one is by my friend Maryann Kissane, in Tranquility, nearly as long ago as Coppola started trying to get On the Road made.)

And I started thinking of who, if anyone, is alive, young enough to play opposite Kristen Stewart and Kristen Dunst, and has what it takes to make us believe that women - and men - would do anything, ANYTHING, to be within his orbit.

And I can think of only one actor: Robert Pattinson. 

Now THAT would have made a great film.