polka dot's guide to being the perfect princess

Even back in January or February, when I was swimming in a pool in Palm Beach County, Florida, someone, when he realised we lived in London, asked if I was going to the wedding. My automatic response, of course, was 'which wedding' (assuming he thought I was someone else and he was talking about, you know, a relative I was not related to).

Growing up on Long Island, I can't tell you how many times one of my friends would say about another, behind her back 'she's such a princess' (and, I have no idea how many times it was said about me).

In light of the fact that my American friends are all now asking me wedding questions (and none of my British friends are) - and I just realised, two of my friends - sisters - are actual, bona fide princesses, and are probably actually going to That wedding - I've decided to provide for you my own Polka Dot Guide to being the Perfect Princess. The reason being, my Australian friend, while drinking Long Island Iced Tea from bone china gold rimmed tea cups, swore blind that one of the waiters from that event was the same waiter who was 'giving me the eye' at the Juicy event. Comparing photos now, I'm pretty sure they're different.

Rule Number One:
Mind your manners. Not just superficial please and thank you: respect other people's time. Don't keep people waiting, and if, for example, your coach is stuck in traffic, have a footman deliver an apology note. Failing that, call, or at last resort, text.

Rule Number Two:
Send Thank You notes. If someone does you a kindness, return that kindness.

Three: Behave, at all times, with Dignity. At least, in public. And if you can't, for Goodness Sake, don't tweet pic or post the evidence on facebook. Remember: discetion is a Potential Princesses Best Friend.

Four: CHOOSE YOUR PRINCE WISELY. It's all well and good, those stories about kissing frogs, but let's face it: they're not called Fairy Tales for nothing. Once a toad, always a toad, as mother would say. Not to mention, toads are.. slimey.

Five: Once you've set your sights on your Prince, you've got to catch - and keep - his attention. A see thru dress is a nice modern day equivalent of a glass slipper, but either way, make sure you're toned, and/or have had a pedicure on the day.

Six: Princesses can not afford a bad hair day: invest in some good shampoo. And remember the three rules: condition, condition, condition.

Seven: Just be forewarned: there are bound to be bumps in the road on the way to the altar. When he needs his space, do your own thing. Preferably with a cute young man.

Rule Number Eight: Provided you have done all the above successfully, and have snagged your prince, you're bound to have also attracted a few metaphorical Ugly Stepsisters along the way. It's gonna hurt, but try to take their envy as a compliment, and rise above it. Remember: living well is the best revenge.

Photos by me, from the Juicy Couture Press Day (see 'Juicy Couturier' for the story - it's Sir Norman Hartnell's original suite) and also at - conversely - the recent Converse Press Day, apart from the shots OF me, which were taken at our friends' wedding, years ago, Somewhere in Connecticut.


Shopgirl said...

Love the post Jill :) Your rules posts are always great! xx

KarinJR said...

Eh. For me, rule number 1 is "If being a princess is the pinnacle of your aspirations, aim higher."

Rule number 2 is "But if you DO becone a princess - literally or metaphorically - remember that it's because you're luckier than others, not better. You were born in the right place or time, or caught the eye of the right person. Had the right friends. Wore the right dress on the right day. Remember that lots of folks who are equally smart, kind, creative and worthy are not as lucky. So be humble, and try to throw some of that luck around."

jill said...

Oh Karin I love that one: HUMILITY! Can I add that to the list? : )

Thank you both. xx

Anonymous said...

You watch far too many movies.

jill said...

As a screenwriter, Numerical Being, I'll choose to take that as a compliment: personally, I feel one can never watch too many movies.

fashion and frank said...

Really love this post - made me smile x


Anonymous said...

Wow you're a screen writer? You're so cool, have you written for any movies, tv drama?

adrielleroyale said...

Love, love, love this! Great advice if I may say so myself. :) I was always my dad's little princess being the only and eldest girl with 3 brothers. I don't think I have ever really grown out of that. :)

San said...

Haha, great advice. Going to adhere to it.

San said...

PS. Don't care much for royal weddings and I certainly don't envy them.

jessica said...

Love this post, I used to be accused of being such a princess... now Im just high maintenance (according to the man) Ha, ha, let him deal wiht it. I love that first skirt, the color is amazing.

Fashion Limbo said...

hahahahha I just LOVE this post!!! I truly believe we all deserve to be princesses, and I plan to abide to all of these rules by the way :)

Miss Tea said...

the dress in the first photo is breathtaking, coudl u tell me where it's from? thx!! ;)

style odyssey said...

Numerical Being (aka Anonymous), why the sarcasm?

Wise (and fun) advice, Jill. I enjoyed this post, including your photos of the handsome waiter.


Anonymous said...

I agree with all however, a caveat for #5: Waxing is also key for see-through!